The Ruins of Me in the Shadow of You

You have ruined me from the start
and I am taking it to heart
that You are slowly unraveling my frame
then piecing it together into something more tame
[not docile, just aware of my limits]

my limits are where You set them to be
my limits are as far as I can see
my limits are as much as I stop and just be

without You the air my lungs would cease
the atoms in my body would split
into a million sparks of light
fading off unto some distant shore
setting course and letting go
Keeper of the Winds
decide my fate upon this terrible sea
for You have crafted me in the depths
reaching down from the heights

to comprehend all that You are
would be an injustice
[to calculate what You are not
would be unfathomable]

all things were
all things are
all things will be
through You
all things exist

knowing this, how can i be complacent
comfortable or apathetic
You have rescued me from an ordinary life
and set me on track for failure
[failure in You is anything but]

Drop Lightning, pt 2

I called thunder from the sky
when it came i froze
I asked for a change of course
You woke the winds
in new directions
land is in sight
but nothing feels right

if lightning never strikes twice
should I care if it strikes once
should I hold breath in anticipation
for the reverb?

You tell the water where to stop
so drop lightning again
for I am Gideon
thick skulled
with a lack of confidence
in my ability
to decipher
the signs

To My Bride, My Love

A lamentation of the One
Who Sits at the Right Hand

I wrote you a poem
but you will probably
never read it
nor will anyone speak
to you about it
you have turned a deaf ear
to my creative endeavors

[unless of course they bring you
some sort of gain]

since you don't understand me
you push me away
you have grown cold toward me
taking pride and joy
over your love of the me you
have imagined
but not the me that
i am

cold? no, rather
a mild 75 degrees
not cool enough to refresh
not warm enough to revive
we were once alive
but you have become
preoccupied with making sure
you know my content
yet by not knowing my cadence
you fail to comprehend
the depths of my love

i would die for you
a thousand times over

[since once does not
seem to be enough]

call me stubborn
call me single minded
call me jealous
all this is true
and more

i won't relent
until you and i are one

i have paid the price
you are mine and i am yours
my love

please
do not turn from me
i have eyes only for you

i will never forsake you,
Your Beloved

Shiver Me Timbers

I be a scurvy pirate
ye be a saucy wench
i know not where you came from
or where on earth you went
i sail the salty seas
in search of where you've been
without you, the booty in me coffers
is nary made of tin
the sails and course be set
the jolly roger hanging high
thar be no warmth in my heart
no matter how hard i try

i be a scurvy pirate
ye be a saucy wench
but i love ye just the same
i'd give up ship and sea
for you to be me dame

Paper or Plastic

The earth spins at approximately
one thousand and thirty-eight miles an hour
around a flaming ball of gas
thousands of times its size
and I am here checking you out

-beep-
[Did you find everything okay?]
-beep-

I've seen children crying
children dying in the streets
while you whine about how
we're out of sugar-free-organic-whateve

r
I hold my tongue

-beep-
[Will this be all for you today?]
-beep-

Africa is slowly fading
from war and disease
Asia is going through a
spiritual and cultural revolution
you tabloid reads "sex" across the cover

-beep-
[Your total comes to $129.67]
-swipe-

the world is spinning fast
the day is new every morning
life is ripe for the taking
between you and me
I'd rather not be here
checking you out

We May Be Sawn In Two

break my heart
for it is occupied by another
break my heart
for it is focused on another
break my heart
for You

00101110

Stop! Stop! Stop!
I can't hear myself think!

where did all of this come from
who allowed it to be
transforming from simple
analog pleasures
to digital dirigibles
dropping bombs of
distraction
on unsuspecting masses
of faithless believers
communicating through
mouse clicks and
numeric pages
leaving comments
and thumbs up
while speakers play
the latest download

stop!

how many times will
that song play before
i associate it with dancing
cavemen and auto insurance
when will pavlov sing
my song
so i know when and where
to eat my over processed
excuse for meat
passed off as a complete
meal when in reality
it is nothing more that air
and sugar
never mind the lie that
eating this will make me happy
make me feel like a king
long live the fast food nation
long live the iPod generation
the don't have time for real
conversation
please text in your vote for the newest
sensation

stop!

i have trouble distinguishing
my thoughts from the
flickering pixels invading my soul
has my perception of reality
been compromised
from this constant intake
of sight and sound
talking heads
sexy celebs
orbit my mind
secretly influencing
my decision making process
my reasoning ability
as my higher brain functions
go into recess
i am faced with admitting
my cyber addiction

stop!

watch as i attempt to unplug
attempt to sever the connection
attempt to reclaim life
and let it flow from
every fiber of my being
Lord give me grace and dancing feet
i will dance for you
like a shepherd king
overcome with joy
though i walk in the valley of
digital death
i will lift my eyes
beyond lcd hi-def
flashing screens
toward the heavens where
the Creator of
butterflies and dandelions
dwells

Drop Lightning Like It's Hot

I am twenty two
and confused
i am stumbling
in the dark
without a clue
all i have are
my predecessors'
flashlights
my peers'
night lights
what i need is a
spotlight
to pierce the fog
and show me the way
back home
to where ever
i should be

with every headline
i am reminded
that this is not
my home

but where is?

let fire fall
from the heavens
let a thunderous
voice proclaim

Come hither and
no further

Do this, that
and the other
for it has been blessed

i am seeking revelation
but You are less revealing
than amish pornography
i am more wanting
than a crack head
five days without a hit

if Your face has
turned from me
i will spin in cartwheels
to grab Your attention

drop lightning like
it's hot and say

This one you shall marry
Be fruitful and multiply

anything would be great
really
a whisper through the night
anything

my nose is flat
from too many
doors closed in my face
my arms are sore
from broken oars
if there's a waterfall
ahead
please give me warning
i know how to swim
i just need a little
warning

Sleeveless Tricks

You've got me saying
words i haven't
spoken in a loooong time

You've got me feeling
like i haven't
felt in a looooong time

We probably won't speak
not a word
for a loooong time

i don't know

about you
about me

You're great
(but he's greater)

i've seen this before
yet
something seems different

God is sovereign.
a pretty girl
told me this once
at first i doubted
but now
i know this to be true

it will take time to heal
it always does

I will always be here.
she tells me
and again i do not believe
because she is not here
right now
but in time maybe this too
will prove to be true

Air Can Only Replace Itself (It Can't Replace You)

Where once my eyes
were met by the heavens
there is air

where once my ears
heard the sound of angels
there is air

where once i faced
a smile so true
there is air

where once was
joy and laughter
there is air

I looked in all the usual spots
everything is, but you are not
next to me an empty chair
what is there, not you, but air

Coffee with Langston

It's interesting reading
words, barely a century
removed
yet still so vibrant
off the page
as if Langston was
sitting right across from me

um, Excuse me Mr. Hughes
do you mind if I call you Langston

Powerful words inked
on the pages of a book
of life and love
and death
echoing the sentiments of
poets and prophets past

do you mind the comparison?

Inspiring another young
man of color
to write his own
words and verses
to tell his own
story and saga
to preform his own
song and dance

not that I would ever
compare myself to you

I am twenty-two
and colored
which implies something
different now
than even a half century ago
but the struggles remain
of being young and dumb
and considered insane

would you like another cup?

I write this as a tribute
to Mr. Hughes
who has inspired generations
to hold fast to dreams
to give voice to the voiceless

thank you, Langston, for your time

Bird Song

tell me little bird
have you ever felt
regret for a missed
note, an off time melody
or is everything
that comes out
as you inteneded it to be

to have such confidence and grace
what price i would not pay

Sail on past the Carcharodon

I took the time
to set a course
for that glorious shore

i set my sights
on the distant future
using past actions and
past quarrels
as warning for the tides
to come

but the wind on these waters
changes as it wishes
the waves roll on and on

i lost my bearings
in the fog
and now i'm lost
as to where
to go from here

again

i took the time
to set a course
for that glorious shore

knowing full well that
without the One
who controls the winds and sea

i will become nothing more
than meat between teeth

Still Small Noises

I'm just trying to find
a way inside
a way to navigate
these mines
a way around the present
straight to the future and
back again
to get a grasp
on my reality
so i will know when to go
when to stay
who to pursue
when to disengage
i am tired of my limited
perception
i want an in
to the thoughts of others
i want to learn to read
people instead of pages
bound between covers

you sure don't make this easy
reading you is like looking
through muddy waters
only a few inches are visible
the rest is a mess
i am depressed
like an open can of jam

pop

open
contents poured out
but you
you sure don't make this easy

oh i thought i found
the angel for me but
she pays me no mind

i will trust You in all things
including this
where my attempts
are less hit than miss

speak words to tame
my restless soul
i know fire, wind, and quake
is where You are not
for You speak in still small voices

i am surrounded my still small noises

reach down as i reach up
to the One who breathed life
into Adam

breathe into me now

I Set a Course for Land

You have ruined me
from the start
and I am taking it
to heart
that You are
writing the plot

You are tediously
untying my knots

I may set my heading
but
You control the waves
that I am treading

O Lord, holder of the winds
You have power to change
my course at a whim
I am mindful that You guide me
that you unlocked my mind
set me free

Sing Sister Sing

Your smile is intoxicating
your eyes are bright as the moon
your spirit is disarming
breaking down my hard heart
injecting it with love

am i falling in love with you?

maybe

but even more
i am falling in love with
the One who made you
your contagious laughter
your angelic voice
your amazing beauty
directing my gaze to the heavens

sing sister sing
to the One who created
the heavens and the earth

and you

dance before your king
laugh with joy
sing sister sing

Ganesh and Me

The smells of urine and incense
fill the air
mixing into something
all it's own
the road is blocked
by people demonstrating
what? taha chaina

buses and taxis
are at a standstill
as the crowd sings
and chants
for a better tomorrow
I take to the sidewalk
dodging half dressed children
and crippled old men
pedaling past a shrine
I notice the smell of
incense is stronger
but the drunk sprawled at the entrance
clues me in to
the power of his god

if that's what it
can be called

nothing more than a
rock housed in a
building ridiculously large
while its adherence
struggle to make ends meet
what power is this?

is it the same that
constructed cathedrals
while parishioners
starved?

is it the same that
constructs mega-churches
while its neighbors
go hungry?

without pointing fingers
i know where the problem lies

it lies in me

one more shrine
one more crowd
one more street kid
and i know
that the only respite
comes from above

They Should Have Listened to Benjamin

The story begins
with a king deposed
by a few unsavory foes
who spin tales
of a better way
and lead the masses
to obey
every word to achieve
a shallow freedom
and to believe
that they
the people
have it all under control
but in the end
the pigs
and
the humans
look the same

Man Overboard

Oh Holy Lord Most High
I have come to realize
that I have spent my entire life
with a millstone around my neck

It's become a part of me
as I wade this terrible sea
I grasp the air in search of Thee
only yot have water fill my lungs

Oh I know there's a better way
that Your mighty hand holds sway
over the powers of night and day
but land is far from sight

The salt has dried skin and bones
many moons I've spent alone
dreaming of home sweet home
where my soul was at rest

Oh Son of David, I once knew
that Your words where true
yet I still crucified You
I can nver wash these hands

Is there anything but this
a child's game gone amiss
I bretrayed you with a kiss
now I am where I belong

Twenty fathoms was the sounding
all I see is the waves crowning
I've done all I can to keep from drowning
Lord, save me

I Rejected Jesus

the image still haunts me
he mumbled in nepali
feeling his way across
the bus park
his skinny frame
scarcely held his clothes
scarcely held his life
his eyes lacked pupils
just bloddy buldging orbs

they mocked him
abused him
he just cried
no
he weeped
in a language i didn't need
to understand
he weeped in his pain
in his suffering

and i just stared

my bus came
i boarded
content to leave
him behind
but then
the bus stopped
and a familiar voice
filled my ears
my heart sank
as the skeleton boarded
felling his way to passengers
mumbling
reaching
begging

he touched my leg
i cringed
the smell of blood
sweat, urine, alcohol
filled my nostrils
i cringed

''nai''
(how could such a word cross my lips?)
i pushed his hands off of me
as i tried to avoid
looking into his face
''nai''
(blessed father forgive me)
i pushed again
he moved on
his pathetic body
moved on
mumbling
begging
weeping
i cringed
(oh God, what have i done)

Call Me Cephas (Call Me Beavis)

The heavens declare
Your glory
as the Hunter
chases the Bear
across the night sky

Your creation screams of
Your infinite goodness
as solar rays are processed
with water and air
to grow the grass of the field

A horse is a vain hope for safety
yet in its power
it bears the mark
of a skilled craftsman
layering marrow and bone
muscle and tissue
skin and hair
to form such a
magnificent beast

The sparrow
takes flight
without a care
mutts roam
city streets
without regard
rocks orbit
nuclear reaction
without effort

why then should i worry?
why should i concern myself with tomorrow?

knowing that tomorrow will come
I plot and plan
contend and conspire
to control it's fate

lo, what vanity of vanities
to strive against
the One
who can set a snare for behemoth
and hook leviathan through the nostril

I move that arguing
against such power
is folly
(but i do it all the same)
can the created
say to the Creator
"Why have You
made me?"
(no more than a picture
can leave its frame)

Where does this
leave You and I?
am I to ignore
the darkness as
i'm dazzled by the light?
or should I rise
like the moon
reflecting the light
of the Son?

the answer is clear

so in fear
i place my hand
over my mouth
lest my foot
finds its way in

how can I contend
with the One
who holds
reality together

Maschil ( A Contemplation)

I don't understand
my senses are overloaded
there is simply too much
to process
my head is swimming
my body is weak
sleep comes whenever
it desires
i am feeling pressure
like Augustus in the pipe
the suspense
is killing me

Lord, i don't want to
spoil Your chocolate river
to make bitter
Your fountain of blessing
but i can't make sense
of what You are showing me
i long to hear Your voice
direct my steps

To the Creator

I view the world
through a viewfinder
i interpret my thoughts
and observations
into poetic verse
random thoughts
give life to doodles
frustration into
works of art
pain pours out
through sonic woes

I was created to create
so i will forever reciprocate
the blessings bestowed by the Creator
the God of my fathers
the God of Abraham
of Isaac
of Jacob
the God of the living
the God who lives
the God who still uses
Bezalels and Davids
and fills them
with the Spirit
to compose
and construct
beauty
where there was none
in order to give
glory and honor
to the One
who formed
and fashioned
life
where there was none

Come, Let Us Conspire

: To my future wife, whoever, where ever she is :

Come
let us conspire together
let us plot and plan
and scheme together
let us run hand in hand
through fields of uncertainty
let us rest in the shade of doubt
let us climb to the peak of prosperity
all the while knowing
we have each other

Come
let us birth together
let us build and bring down together
let us be the change
let us become the answer
let us turn the world upside-down
turn frowns upside-down
turn each other upside-down
let us move in rhythms
and sing in harmonies
that only God will witness

God is good
God is love
let it be known
that we loved God and each other
that we love God and each other

Come
let us live together
let us grow old in gray hairs
rocking chairs and depends together

Come
let us die together
let us leave a legacy
so that our children's children's children
will know what love looks like
what love acts like
what love lives like

Come
let our lives be a testimony
to the grace
and humor
of God
in bringing us from
two
to
one

Come
let us
be

estrellas

the stars
sing in unison
choruses from
ages past
as the spheres
revolve
they change
configuration
but they remain
shouting
screaming
the wonders of the Creator

the stars
have witnessed
creation from afar
watching the plot
unfurl

the fall
the flood
the family
the famine
the fettered
the free
the frustrated
the fighters
the fiefdom
the fettered [again]
the forsaken
the Father draped in flesh
redeeming His creation

the stars cry out
in celebration
the stars cry out
jubilee
the stars cry out
holy, holy, holy
the stars cry out
hallelujah

the stars sing in harmony
the wonders of the King