[un] Titled

i
stare at broken rings
pictures of
broken dreams
and i
can't help but
cry

promises
that were made
foundations
that were laid
and i
brought down the
sky

i shot down the moon
i blotted out the sun
my days are numbered
i wait for the light to come
again

i
read the written words
visuals of
ideas heard
and i
can't help but
cry

memories
flood like rain
impossible
to remove the pain
and i
just want to
die

i shot down the moon
i blotted out the sun
my days are numbered
i wait for the light to come
again

Jesus
what have i done
how can i fly
when i can't run

G-d
what did i do
to distance myself
so far from you

Spirit
fill my soul
these bloody hands
this empty hole

i shot down the moon
i blotted out the sun
i'm broken and beaten
G-d show me your love
again

Crowbar to Your Head

if it's my brains you want
why didn't you say so
i thought you were after
my soul
you lifeless bag of bones
i'm sorry they took
all you had
i, on the other hand
refuse
to give in
i will not become lifeless
like you
moaning
groaning
limping
like you
i know the problem
i don't fit your system
your solution: eat my brains
my resolution: crowbar to your head

Edison Fades

i see
the light begin
to flicker
i sense
the darkness
coming in
hold on
before you
pull the plug
i can fix
the wiring
i can make
it bright again
brighter than
you ever knew
i just need
a little time
you won't be sorry

Cross My Heart

stick another
stick another needle
in my eye
i promise i won't
i won't cry

'cause you're deserving
of the pleasure
and i'm deserving
of the pain
living or dead
as long as you're happy
baby it's all the same

if you're smiling
i'll smile through it all
i'll suck it up
i'll take it
as long as we
love each other
we'll make it

stick another
stick another needle
in my eye
i promise i won't
i won't cry
[this time]

of the sea

these mountains
always seem high
from the depths
of the sea

down to the bottom
like a millstone
the ghost of past
suffocates me

this struggle
against the merciless
waves and winds
just to reach the shore

these mountains
always seem high
from the shores
of the sea

a staircase and a hope

down
down
down

the staircase
i descend
into
darkness
this
shadow
of doubt
that clouds
my better judgment

forced
to view
my incompetents
my inadequacy
my inclination
[to fail]
by the man
in the mirror
with that
unsettling
grin
upon his face

what shallow
what hallow
heart would
allow
such dispair
to grip
like barbed wire
upon it

apparently mine

through
the fog
a light
pierces
the abyss
and guides
along paths
inside
this catacomb
this final
resting place
for valor
for strength
for life

to
a staircase
and
a hope

up
up
and
away

charcoal window panes

And I'm tired of all of this
Creating these realities that don't exist
Make believing that I believe what I have made
A thought crosses the void to nest on my mind
Flutter its wings and pollenate the field of desperation
This field full of longing and desire
For the sun to shine through my charcoal
Window panes
I refuse to give in
Because it makes too much sense
I refuse to clean the window panes
And I'm tired of all of this
Believeing in my intellect to define the world
Classifying and justifying my pitiful existence
There lies the love I had hoped for
The union between the Father and His Son
Comradery unsurpassed, bound by loyalty
Connection between the Potter and His clay
Vessel
I refuse to give in
Because it seems too simplistic
I refuse to clean the window panes
And You, being who You are
Take the Windex to my soul and wipe away
The charcoal off my window panes
Allowing the light of your love to shine through
And You smash the clay and start anew
Pain tears my soul and in vegence I lash out
As my fist full of rage crashes through streak-free
Window panes
You refuse to let go
Because You know what I will become
You refuse to let go
Fitting the broken glass into Your loving frame